我系边个－我既哲学设问

Hi, Momo:

Thank you for your email.  It was great to get your email.  I got back
to U.S. yesterday and am just back to office.

I very much enjoyed our conversation, in class and individually.  I am
glad that my talk turned out to be helpful to you. Thank you for your
trust in talking to me further about your individual situation.

First of all, I don't know if you are depressed.  If you are worried
about, you need to see a good physician locally to help determine or
rule that out.  This is important because depression is a serious
disorder, but highly treatable.

Secondly, in terms of your life goals, not knowing what you want to do
for the moment is no big deal. It takes most people quite a bit of
questioning, exploring and experimenting to figure that out, at least
in
my part of the world.  The good news is that you want to know and you
are NOT waiting for someone else to tell you what to do.

As a good friend and great admirer as I am of Bob Xu (Xu Xiaoping),  I
work very, very differently from him.  I don't believe telling others
what to do.  After I talked to your group of teachers, I talked to a
different group of teachers in the afternoon in which we talked about
the Chinese saying: rather than giving someone a fish, it is better to
teach him/her how to fish for him/herself. 

Trying something is the first step towards figuring out what you should
do.  Doing a degree in education or psychology in U.S. is one of the
ways.  Getting working experience is important to prepare yourself for
that.  You can also try something like that locally, such as
volunteering for local college/youth hotlines for which you will be
involved with working with and helping people first hand. That would at
least help you to know for yourself if you like to help others in that
sort of way.

It sounds like your family has quite a bit resource(money). That is
great because this will allow you more time and chances to explore.
Give
yourself some time and start by trying different things. You can also
read about the fields of education (from teaching to education policy
making) and psychology by reading about the graduate programs in these
fields online by accessing the websites of American colleges. Pick any
college you have heard about or interested in and look these programs
up.

Thank you again for your email. Hope this is useful.

Best of luck.

Xiaolu Hsi, Ph.D.

    五十年代，是英雄妈妈的年代，所以，性是伟大的。那个时代的性不是一种生活，也不是一种享受，而是一个严肃的政治任务。那时候，性的目的也很单纯――生育和备战。战场上的战争是残酷的，也许就是因为那种残酷使得人们似乎忘记了感受床上战争的美妙。所以，在那个年代安全套是绝对的废物。

    七十年代，战争已经远离，人们开始逐步享受生活的方方面面，性应当为列其中。只是，那时对性的渴望还是“爱它在心口难开”。也许是因为受计划生育政策的影响吧。一度工会开始发送安全套，虽然是派发，却又很难达到按需分配的程度，（社会主义初级阶段嘛，可以理解）那时候别说挑三挑四的，就是想多得到几个，都得对发放者点头哈腰。那个羞涩加厚脸皮得尴尬呀，真是恨不得把你命根子断了。不过，等这几个用完了，自然是下不了断根得狠手的，还得厚着脸皮去要。如果赶上那个50来岁的工会女干事心情不大好，就会很客气又好像很不经意地给你一句：“这么快就用完了？”此时此刻，真是恨不能一头扎到洗脸盆里淹死算了。要是临出门时她在跟上一句：“这次省着点用啊！”当天晚上肯定会丧失战斗力，抱头死睡。

    九十年代，人们对性已经不再陌生。性的美妙和享受开始为人津津乐道。从那个时候开始，我们知道了G点，知道了应该怎样取悦自己的性伴侣，也是从那个时候开始，我们出现了对性的幻想。柔软的床、宽大的办公桌、舒适的浴缸和颠簸的汽车。终于，安全套昂首钻进我们的钱包，变成了我们的“兄弟”。

    现在，放松和美妙的性已经成为时尚的一部分。热爱生活的人们对性的享受早已从对异性的占有升华到了品味性生活所带来的美妙这个最高阶段。拥抱、接吻，迫不及待地脱掉彼此的衣服，继续拥抱……然后，呵，最高享受开始了…….当然，绅士的先生们在这个时候肯定不会忘记请出自己钱包中的“兄弟”，既保护自己，也温柔呵护自己的爱人。“兄弟”既然担负上了体现一位绅士的品位和责任感这样的重任，对它们的选择当然也应该慎之又慎。因为，保护只能警戒线以外，那种时刻的巅峰感觉怎么能允许被闯入的“兄弟”所隔膜和干扰！所以，兄弟，对不起，请你保护我，但别让我感觉到你的存在。

    不被感觉地保护你我？这样敬业的“兄弟”真的存在吗？当然。还记得一个电影中的经典对白是“十三，路易的”，再告诉你一个即将的经典――“安全套,杰士邦超薄的。”

   

如果你爱她，就拉着她的手，到巴黎的小巷子里去寻找她喜爱的玩偶；如果你爱她，就带她去西班牙广场，给她买一个雪糕，让她自己也能有一个罗马假日；如果你爱她，就带她去希腊的圣托里尼，在湛蓝的爱琴海边坐下，什么都不说，什么都不想，闭上眼睛，仿佛海里边那两道延伸的航线，一个你，一个她。

 

                                            --- <大勇和小花的欧洲日记>

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